I’m working on my next list of “know the real Samantha” facts. This is actually a pretty scary exercise when I get down to it. There are things I’d put on the list if other’s weren’t reading it (thus negating the whole idea) because I don’t want to hurt anyone.

11. I once bumped into another car in heavy traffic coming home from San Francisco and kept going. Even though they pulled over. Of course they ended up catching up to me and getting my license plate number, so I did end up paying for it.

12. I not only sleep with the TV on I basically leave it on a news channel all day so I have noise in the background.

13. I am inherently lazy. I can put on a good act, but I’ll put off a project until the very last minute and hope that I just get out of it.

14. I thought most of the food at my wedding, including the cake was awful. (Positivity here: the cake was gorgeous even though they used the wrong filling)

15. Even though I’m a fully fledged adult I still steal groceries from my parents.

16. When I’m in a city the traffic sounds like a barn full of turkeys. I guess growing up on a turkey ranch and working in the barns will do that to you.

17. Now that the wedding is over, I really, really want to shave my head.

18. I think one of the things I love most about John is that he puts up with what most men wouldn’t when it comes to taking care of the home.

19. I want a baby so badly it hurts, but the hysterectomy a few years ago makes that more complicated. I still have ovaries, so I’ve been looking into surrogacy. Even though we could never, never afford it.

20. I can’t have more than two drinks or I either throw up or pass out.

21. When I was in the eighth grade a friend and I were smoking on a ditch bank and we ended up setting over a mile of it on fire.

22. I have no concept of where most countries are on a map. Even (or especially) Europe kind of baffles me.

23. Watching John sleep is one of my favorite activities, until I eventually wake him up when he feels me staring at him.

24. My sister and I cheated at many of our farm chores. Tossing cow pies at each other when we should have been washing our heifers or just stomping down weeds instead of pulling them.

25. I have kept some kind of pet in almost every apartment I’ve lived in, even when they weren’t allowed.

26. I was such a picky eater when I was a kid that I would throw up when made to eat something I didn’t want to. I still gag if I eat peas, broccoli, or raw tomatoes.

27. I taught for 6 years. I hated 5 of them, and I was a horrible teacher regardless of the grade I was given (contrary to my mother’s beliefs). When I had a 6th grade I taught them the wrong formula for the area of a circle the day before I was being observed by the principal. When I figured out what happened I bribed the kids with an extra free P.E. if they would pretend I had never discussed circles with them before that day.

28. I was hoping something really insane would happen at my wedding so I could submit it to the Wedinator website. (Check some of their pics out, hilarious. There’s a link on this page, under “Blogs I follow” on the right side).

29. Even though my father and landlords would kill me, generally one of the first things I do when I move into a new house/apartment is disconnect the fire alarms.

30. When my sister and I used to go on family trips we would order tons of room service and in room movies and charge them to my parents without telling them.

How am I doing?  Any insights into my psyche?