In bed in our hotel room in Portland. We had great dinner with grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousin. Weird that my grandmother, who I am quite close to, had never met John. Now she has, and it was odd to see my tiny little grandmother next to my 6’4” husband (yes, still getting a kick out of calling him that). At dinner I had a great time talking to my aunt and uncle who I hadn’t seen in about 10 years. John and his previous military experience was a huge draw to my cousin who recently signed up with the Marines (John was in both the Navy and the Army). Little did any of my family know that the quickest way to work John up is to bring up the military or anything he can connect some conspiracy theory. Had to drag him away before he started to talk about how we never went to the moon (Yeah, that’s right – he’s one of THOSE, please never, never get him started).

On one of my new favorite blogs, The Writing Womb (, the author lists 100 things you probably don’t know about her. I think this is a great idea – dispelling myths about me (those others think they know about, those I build in my head)seems to be a positive way to get in touch with myself as well as helping others get to know me, not necessarily the me that I let everyone see. I’ll do 20 today and build on the list over the next few days.

First, obviously my positive thoughts – after hours of trying to get three days worth of one of my meds (that I didn’t pack, I was almost going to add that I was an idiot – not talking like that anymore, right?!) a few people at the Immediate Care center here in Portland bent over backwards to help me and I was given a prescription for three days worth. I disappeared for about 3 hours and John was furious (rightfully so), but I had to drive back and forth between Immediate Care and the pharmacy (3 times each, and both on opposite ends of the town). Yet, I’ve married such a gem, he forgave me pretty quickly. I got my meds, and all is well.

Prior to that michigas, we were in the car for 7 hours. We discussed the next two days (going to go back to the coast then take a semi-leisurely drive home, stopping to spend the night half way). Then we made big plans for the future. They may have been over the top plans (a you pick it apple orchard where we make our own cider) it was still great fun. This sharing a life thing is turning out to be pretty cool. OK, that’s a silly way to put it. I’ve spent almost 41 years (obviously some of those years I was a child) only thinking of plans for myself. Even when I was in a relationship I still made future plans for myself, didn’t think I had it in me to really let someone in. Realizing I can have a true partner and still be Samantha is kinda huge.

While in the cabin, and then until I got to the hotel room, I had no coughing fits or runny nose despite not using my nose spray or taking my evening Singular. Therefore, even before the allergist does her “prick test” (love that! Could have used a home version for checking out previous boyfriends) I can be pretty sure I’m allergic to the mold in my house. Fantastic (honestly!!)! This means it’s not the sea air and I can remain living on the coast. Yes, I have to find a new house. But, I’ve changed living quarters before I can do it again!

Ok – my list. Let’s see if I can do this:

1. Not a huge secret or even something most people don’t know, but it seems important to state it. I’m bipolar with horrible anxiety disorder. I haven’t been able to work for 6 years or so.

2. Because of the anxiety disorder, I rarely leave my house. This honeymoon has been a huge test. So far no hyperventilating, no fear of people, and I actually went to a supermarket I was unfamiliar with.

3. While I get my face waxed, I don’t shave my legs. Just don’t care to. I did get them waxed for the wedding so I may start doing that on a regular basis. But, I haven’t shaved even every month, in over 20 years. (am I really the aging hippie-punk I think I am?)

4. I miss having my sister as one of my best friends. I screwed things up, and want to patch up our relationship.

5. I have wrecked two cars because of psych meds – one totally my fault by taking more than I was supposed to, the other caused directly by a new night med I wasn’t used to. Both times I was in a blackout. The one due to the night med was surprising, I had never, ever gotten in my car after taking my night meds, but I remember wanting something sweet. The other actually took place at my work (I was actually working at a half-way house for those with mental illness, I know a little ironic)I guess I was in the work van to pick up a new client. I was told I hit a parked car, just got out and walked about 10 miles home. When I came to I was wearing someone else’s shoes.

6. I love chiklit. Can’t get enough. Yeah, enough said on that one.

7. I always thought I was pretty politically savvy – until I actually started watching news programs, reading political non-fiction (woman can’t live on chiklit alone), and reading a variety of papers. I know now I didn’t have a clue.

8. Getting a real job scares the crap out of me. Not only because I would have to leave the house, but because I might fail again. I don’t know if I could take that.

9. John and I broke my great-grandmother’s bed.

10. This may be my first real marriage, but not my first wedding. I did get married once when I was 19 – sort of. It was performed by a friend’s uncle who was ordained by a church he found in the back of Rolling Stone in the 70’s. We never filed paperwork, never really even lived together. Hmmm… what was that about anyway?

That’s a good start! I’ll add to the list over the next week or so. I meant to try and get 20, but ran out of speed and concentration.  The Naked Writer over at The Writing Womb really inspired me to do this. Please check her list and fantastic blog out.